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Stillbirth

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

​Stillbirth is the death of a baby who has completed 20 weeks gestation or more with death occurring before or during delivery. Approximately 1 in 100 babies are born still.​

 

Tips and things to consider

  • It is suggested to take everything offered to you from time with your baby to pictures to resources; this may help avoid regret and help with the grieving process later.

  • Consider having someone with you while you talk to doctors and midwives prior to delivery, during labor, and at delivery.

  • You can spend time with/hold your baby after delivery, read, sing to, pray over your baby, and even have pictures taken of your baby post delivery. Cooling cots should be available to help extend the time you can spend with your child.

  • Avoid elastics in clothing as this can damage baby's fragile skin; use soft materials for clothing and/or wraps; consider clothing/wraps with hoods.

  • Consider using real diapers to cover your child.

  • Avoid baby shampoo; opt for baby wash instead. Baby lotion will also be important.

 

(Tips provided by Founder of IRIS (Infants Remembered In Silence) Faribault, MN irisremembers.com)

 

 

Suggested reading

"Empty Arms" by Pam Vredevelt (*Disclaimer*  This book is not officially endorsed by the diocese but may be helpful in understanding grief; it is found as an option in the bereavement section of some certified doula curriculums):

  • "Feelings of sadness, anger, loneliness and exhaustion are a natural response to a painful loss, but being alone in grief does not help you recover. When it comes to healing your heart, there is no one-size-fits-all answer." - Pam Vredevelt (author of Empty Arms and Empty Arms Journal; pamvredevelt.com)

Resources:

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